There are some interesting implications about how most men actually aren't into performing dominance, which has interesting parallels to the question of who is actually dominant or submissive and the idea of topping from the bottom. Here's one essay which describes this: https://www.jsanilac.com/dominance/
Although to be honest, my confidence in my flirting takes (and my flirting) is pretty low.
So I've been thinking about this some more, and it occurs to me that while romcoms in general have the dynamics where the girl plays high and the guy plays higher, a lot of critically acclaimed romcoms have more low-low dynamics, and I suspect that has to do with the fact that in order to become critically acclaimed, guys also have to like the movie.
Also really interesting! I never thought of that before, but now I am thinking of it it makes so much sense. That moment in Notting Hill - that really explains why it's such an impactful scene, and so popular
Couldn't agree more. The generalization versus recall distinction is absolutly crucial for LLM progress.
I would be interested to know where I can read more about the idea of flirting as playing low or playing high? Thank you 🙏
This is something described by Aella in her "good at sex" series: https://aella.substack.com/p/good-at-sex-sex-as-a-status-game (paywalled). She also has a tweet promoting the article, which has some interesting discussion: https://x.com/Aella_Girl/status/1748539858925052227.
There are some interesting implications about how most men actually aren't into performing dominance, which has interesting parallels to the question of who is actually dominant or submissive and the idea of topping from the bottom. Here's one essay which describes this: https://www.jsanilac.com/dominance/
Although to be honest, my confidence in my flirting takes (and my flirting) is pretty low.
Thank you very much! Really helpful. Also I am sure your flirting is better than you think it is ❤️
So I've been thinking about this some more, and it occurs to me that while romcoms in general have the dynamics where the girl plays high and the guy plays higher, a lot of critically acclaimed romcoms have more low-low dynamics, and I suspect that has to do with the fact that in order to become critically acclaimed, guys also have to like the movie.
Example of high-high:
La La Land: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waTDxRZ93Qc
Examples of low-low:
Notting Hill (I'm just a girl): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMEnNRKallY
Annie Hall (la-di-dah): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdr30UZ_0Dk
I'm not really a rom-com watcher, but Claude also suggests When Harry Met Sally, Eternal Sunshine, and Before Sunrise as examples.
Also really interesting! I never thought of that before, but now I am thinking of it it makes so much sense. That moment in Notting Hill - that really explains why it's such an impactful scene, and so popular